Scrotoss... well in hand!

Hi, Tossers. Check it owwt -- scrotoss.org is back. Expect great things tossin' into 2007, plus a nostalgic look back at scrotal events of 2006. I know it's been a while, but Scrotoss isn't yet accepted as a winter pastime. Maybe once the rumoured SnoScrot gets off the drawing board...

image: authentic doubleball equipage, from these folks

Scrotal dateup

So I made a real scrote for myself last weekend. Up until then I'd been relying on what one of my weekend-novel-writing friends called "the manky scrototype," the original four socks filled with sand and tied together with nylon rope that was constructed at North Country Fair. That scrote served me well, but the rope was starting to fray and get scratchy, and squeak unpleasantly on the wooden shaft, and it was time for something new.

I made a couple of attempts to find leather but eventually settled on denim in the form of some stout $5 jeans. I bought two types of twine and then went to a store called "Stitches" (where I had previously failed to get leather) to see about getting a large-eyed needle. An embroidery needle! Of course! Except whoops. They don't have any. I get the largest needle I can, unwind the twine into separate threads, feed each thread separately through the eye of the needle, manage to pull it through, and start "sewing." Of course, I couldn't pull the thick twin through two layers of denim with my fingers, so I had to bite down on the needle and haul it through with my teeth for each. And. Every. Stitch.

My stitching is atrocious, it goes back and forth between round-n-round and serpentine, it's got shitty knots in it and the interior socks (or "nads") are filled with dirt, not sand. That last bit isn't really about the stitching, but still. This scrote is not pretty. I would go so far as to say it is ugly. But it sure is a jump from the scrototype. Its soft "fap!" when you make a good catch, its elegant tumbling arc through the air, its sheer scrotality. Most satisfying.

I suppose I should cross-post this to Scrotoss.org but I don't want to do that until I get some photos to go with it. Might be able to accomplish that this weekend if I can manage to get some pants on. We'll see.

* * *

Seems I have.

Early Scroting

I got a quick note from a prototosser that I thought I'd pass on to you folks...

I just thought I'd pass along another scrotoss idea to you, since I don't have a blog account. I played scrotoss way back in the day at a native culture camp in Whitehorse, Yukon. We had about 20 people, so the elders had us play a handball/lacross hybrid, where you couldn't move while carrying the scrote, and the goals were tripods of limned trees about 10ft high. To score, you had to make the scrote hang up on the goal. Very fun. Might take a little more rulemaking to work with adults instead of grade nine students, but I thought I'd pass it along.

Have fun scrotossing, and keep up the great work!

Geoff

Not a bad Scrotoss-the-sport suggestion. What I want to see is two teams of two racing to get ten catches. I got a feeling it'd be pretty tense.

Scroton!

Steve

Hempfest Scrotoss Report

Last week on my web site I mentioned that I was going to attempt to spread the Scrotoss word at this year's Seattle Hempfest. Attempt I did, though with only qualified success.

A few things worked against me from the start. I'd hoped to get there by early afternoon but delays prevented me from arriving until close to 5, so the evangel didn't get as much time as it deserved. Once there I discovered that Myrtle Edwards Park is a long and extremely narrow strip of land. This plus the fact that the place was packed solid with hempers meant that it was tricky indeed to find a spot where even the most intimate game of Scrotoss could be played.

Still, tossing did occur. I and my Scrotoss companion of the day managed to get a good hour in at least, and during the course of the play we were able to draw in a fella named Cal, who took to it immediately, as well as a younger dude who jumped in for a few tosses before ambling off to catch up with his friends.

Not exactly a resounding victory for the forces of Scrotoss, but a start. Next time I'll be better prepared, I'll have a nicer scrote, I'll get there earlier and I'll push it harder, because I still believe this city is ripe for the game.

NEW WAVE AT BVJ

THE RECYCLE OF LIFE CONTINUES

Two fresh scrotoss faces emerged from their creative placentae at Big Valley Jamboree last weekend, both wired together with superior sinew.

The one with wooden beads is filled with pebbles and has a comfortable weight. It's possibly the best one yet.

The smaller, moosehide number - already muddy by this point - is filled with painful pennies. We named him S.C.R.O.D.O.K due to his vicious temperment and keen sense of honing in on sunglasses and fragile elbows, not to mention the "nether regions."

Other highlights of the weekend included various drunks proving that women are inherently better at the game at first, and me crushing a thread-hole punch to shards with my bare hands. GRAW! But most importantly, after a minor newspaper mention, a stranger drove by our RV campsite and asked the dangerous question: "Is that the thing called scrotoss?"

You better believe it, dood. The word is spreading. Next stop: Nihon!

Scrotoss spreading!

I have to admit I'm a little jealous at commenter Adam's awesome elkskin scrots, pictured. Adam, please more pics and details! My own scrotmaking has been kinda stalled, but I've found a supplier for wicked thick moosehide and sinew lacing... I like the look (and ease of execution) of an outside stitch, and this cheapass hemp twine just isn't cutting it.

Tossers, keep 'em coming!

Way more Scrotoss pics!

Thanks to Fish Griwkowsky, who took my first beaded scrot along with his lovely lady to Banff last weekend. Popcorn-filled nads = squirrelbait!

Something ain't right with my Scrotoss flickr set, but this tag search works. Get tossing, people!